World of Graphix

Kingdom of Loathing

It’s about time I got started on KoL.

Upon signing up, the potential player can choose one class of the following:

Seal Clubber – Seal Clubbers hail from the frigid Northlands, because one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands. They rely on their Muscle to survive. This class may be thought of as one of the two Warrior or Fighter classes, which have Muscle as their main stat.

Turtle Tamer – The Turtle Tamer’s mystical connection with his terrapin brethren imbues him with great power. He excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. His Muscle is the key to his success, and to his long lifespan. This class may be thought of as one of the two Warrior or Fighter classes, which have Muscle as their main stat.

Pastamancer – With his mastery of the arcane secrets of Noodlecraft, the Pastamancer is a force to be reckoned with. He relies on his Mysticality to get ahead in the world. This class may be thought of as one of the two Mage or Magician classes, which have Mysticality as their main stat.

Sauceror – Long engaged in an uneasy truce with the Pastamancers, the guild of Saucerors protects the secrets of the Ancient Brotherhood of Gravymakers. Their Mysticality is their most important attribute. This class may be thought of as one of the two Mage or Magician classes, which have Mysticality as their main stat.

Disco Bandit – The Disco Bandit boogies to and fro, hither and yon. Whence comes he? No man knows. Whither strikes he next? All men live in fear of him and his Moxie. This class may be thought of as one of the two Rogue or Thief classes, which have Moxie as their main stat.

Accordion Thief – The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with “the ladies.” This class may be thought of as one of the two Rogue or Thief classes, which have Moxie as their main stat.

After choosing a class, the game begins and the new player is reccommended to begin in the Big Mountains, specifically Mt. Noob, and talk with the Toot Oriole (which, if said quickly, sounds like Tutorial.)

To move around the game the player clicks on various places. For example, if a player wanted to go to The Market, the player would click the image with the caption Seaside Town. Then the image marked Market Square, and finally to The Market itself.

Items are bought by selecting an item, then typing in the amount wanted at the bottom of the shop screen. A button reads Buy Item, and once clicked the wanted items are bought and stored into the player’s inventory if the amount of Meat (the currency of KoL) is sufficient.

Often the player, or Adventurer, encounters monsters (a Bar, Bugbear, Ninja Snowman, Demonic Iceboxes even!) If faced with a monster the player gets these options (by default):

• Attack with your [current weapon equipped]
• Use Item
• Use Skill

Battle continues until either the player or the monster runs out of HP, or Hitpoints. Skills require MP, or Mana Points, to perform. These skills are exclusive to that class and more skills can be trained for Meat at the class’s guild. Sometimes if monsters are defeated, items will drop from them (referred to as drop items). Some items only drop once (one-time drops).

After battles, players can rest at their campground. This campground also contains their Colossal Closet, which can store a limitless amount of items; their Kingdom of Loathing Certificate of Participation; their Quest Log (literally a log which lists all the current quests being carried out by the player); and their Magical Mystical Hippy Stone (this protects the player from attacks from other players, and also prevents the player from attacking others. If this is smashed by the player, the player can attack other players but is also vulnerable to PvP attacks.) It is also possible to add things to one’s campground such as a toaster, Familiar-Gro Terrarium and fences. Items can also be used to restore a player’s health or mana, and even boost one’s stats. Items such as weapons, armor and accessories can be equipped.

Items can be crafted, or specifically, cooked (to make food), combined (with meat wads to make new items), smithed (to make new weapons) or shaken(to make cocktails).

This post does not go into details, just the general gameplay. More will be explained in future posts.